Wonderful... Third time... 3 different year... JUST before my birthday. Spoilt all my mood looking forward to the 25th. Why is this all happening to me? Why must it be me? Why must be be so near to the 25th?
I don't blame anyone or rather can't blame anyone. Just asking myself why am I able to trust someone so easily. I told Weili, once is enough. NO more twice. And after much consideration, the result is still the same.
This implies to me that the more I consider the more hurt I will get. So is it hinting me to not consider so much. Just like the childish me in the past? Play play and have fun? There is nothing to worry and need to be bothered at all. Is it?
I do not know how to face myself anymore. There is a phobia inside me. Feeling so panic about everything and there is no one that understand what I'm going through. I do not know what I want now. Everything seems to be in a big mess.
This mess is not done by anyone. Is the artwork of my own hands. I hate my life more than ever. I hate everything about me. Seems like there is nothing for me to look forward anymore. Nothing to be missed, nothing to be loved.
