This normal day ended normally. There is nothing special happened. Yesterday? Also nothing happen just that I went for driving. Ended quite late. Then went to hunt for cake and dinner for my darling, Hui Wen.

Tomorrow, there is no practical so practically I only go to school for a 2 hour lesson. So sickening. My HP is down again. Went to service centre in the end, ended up shopping at Orchard and missed the 1st lesson today. LOL

I have got to rush my resume tonight. That business Com tutor really :!@#$%">!@#$%&* till... OMG!!! Simply to fussy. Irritating! She is giving me a bitchy feeling man! ARGH... Working at 6pm! SIAN 1/2....

So disappointed when my madam smsed me that there is enough people for Zouk Out. Crap! Feeling like I am not welcome anywhere sia! Better stay at home. Makes me feel better.

I'm freaking tired already ICAs seems to come one after another I have enough of it. So tired. I have not have enough sleep. Really really really tired. That will explains why I am so called referred as EMO.

Even blogging, I only have time to blog during my lab. Other than that I cannot fork out any time to post anymore. I began to regret taking this course. This is one of the regrets in my life for this 18 years.

I should have chose to do something I have more interest in. Like Sports and Wellness. Not all these kinda coding and memorizing codes. This is for the IT side. For business side, memorizing some business terms which I have no idea how it will benefit me in future.

Lab lesson is super boring. I wonder what is the objective of having lab lesson. It is just a waste of time. Especially for project module, why do we have to have tutorial at 9am to 11am and than have 2 hours of lab again for discussion?

We don't have so much things to discuss anyway. We are just sitting there doing nothing. Wasting of time. We could have eliminate these lessons and end class earlier, can get more rest and do more worthwhile stuffs.

I cannot take it anymore simply sitting in front of the PC and type type and still type! It's so meaningless 0f living for tomorrow fro typing. I rather be dead today this moment this sec. This is what my course is about. And what I will be going through this 1 more year.

Maybe there is still worst to come. I just wish I could graduate faster. Get out of this stupid course which is driving me nuts. The time now is 5:53pm. And I'm still at page 4/9. Lesson ending at 6pm. WTH!!

I went to Manna to change my battery back with Joanne after lesson. On the MRT, this super freaking rude lady pushed me super hard. She need so big space to get out or she is rushing for a recantation?

It's not accidentally is PURPOSELY! Without apologising! Freak wonder if she being educated in school. Damn it's just my luck!!!

Monday blues! Every Monday is so blue. Nothing interesting, just another boring day for me. I'm late for the first lesson as usual. Yesterday was a damn tiring day. Though it is not busy at work. But to me everything seems to be left undone for me to complete.

I just feel like I cannot finish my job. One after another, no one seems to be helping me. 3 service staffs but it's equal to only me working. TIRED!! Weili, miss you sooo much! How I wish you were there. Job will be easier and faster then.

Lucky, tonight only Weili and I. Manager on shift: Lao Ma. Even if crowd in today, I won't feel as tired as yesterday. Cause we will split out jobs and help each other. Closing will also be done very fast. Things at work will definitely be smoother today.

Haha... My friends Mei Hong, Fah Yin and Si Hui had lunch together very often but today, we had more laughter. 19 Dec, 3 of us except Si Hui can go bugis shopping. HAHA Si Hui have got concert to perform. LOL...

Haiya.. Are we that bad? No ok. Though I'm not performing, but will try to be there to support them. Else is mental support. At least my support is there. With my support, the concert will be a success de ok! hahaha!!! OOO.. Lao Po, Hui Wen will be performing. Will give her my fullest support!

Next, before attending the lab, we went to the ladies. Then, I just make this race. Whoever comes out of the cubical last is a "pig" LOL! Everyone rush like mad. Some even open the door before they flush. HAHAHA!!

Back to Lao Po, she has gone for her attachment today. Walked passed level 3 which she used to be there for her FYP. Kinda miss her wor. Miss her silly action she will make when we exchange eye contact. Hope she will be well there. Take care ar.. Qing Ai De Lao Po! :)

Lab lesson is so damn bored. The teacher who happens to be my lecturer cum tutor is so damn hopelessly boring! No one knows who is he chanting prayer to. Really chanting I mean it.

First lesson, he was like talking about his past job experience for 1 whole lesson = 50 mins. And during Lecture, he said the same stuffs again without any missing words. I ADMIRE HIM ARHH!! Good memorizing skills.

After my short nap for 40 mins plus, he then just touched on the actual lecture. The lecture is 50 mins for your information. I planned to leave the 10 mins to listen to the last few slides. But in the end, 10 mins for the whole lecture or rather half. It's so good to have a nap without missing anything right?

This week, 2 ICAs on Wednesday. Mobile and Marketing Research. 2 Modules I hated most! Coding and memorizing! EEK...!!! After that, Driving lesson at 5pm. One and a half hours. After that? Guitar? Maybe.

This Saturday going sun tanning with Weili. WOO!! Cool... Can't wait for it! Sentosa... Sentosa... SENTOSA~! Hope that the sun will be blazing hot.. So I can tan my body evenly. AH... Excited!

This year's Christmas I supposed to be spending it in Manna. Should be working for the 2 days. No Christmas life. Anyway, there won't be programmes for me. No dates :X *hahaha....* Anyone wanna date me? SMS, MSN, TAG, CALL, EMAIL me...!! 24/7 available!

OMG!! Facebook prediction was so accurate! Firstly, predict what kinda lover I need which is: "You need "The Care Bear"!
Oh, you poor thing. You've been hurt, haven't you? Come, cry on my shoulder. My naked, naked shoulder. You are looking for a sensitive lover, someone who can spoon with you through the next episode of Sex And the City. You want someone that cares more about the 'after' part than the 'during' part. Also, you want someone who can stay awake for the 'after"' part."

Then What kinda love I am:
"You are "The Care Bear"!
Aww, aren't you sweet. You are the sensitive lover, in tune with your partner's needs and perhaps the Lifetime Channel. You care more about pleasing your lover than you do yourself, which is ironic because pleasing your partner is the only way you can please yourself. You probably own a stuffed animal."

Yesterday had this personality test:
"Temperament

Flexible
Nothing seems to bother you - you sail through life crisis free. It's not that your life doesn't have its ups and downs, it's just that you handle everything without unnecessary drama and antics. You approach each day fresh, not worrying about yesterday or tomorrow. You are confident that you can handle anything that comes your way and experience has shown that you are absolutely right about this.

Interests

Simple
You are continually pursuing a simpler and less complicated life - you don't allow yourself to fall victim to all of the "should do's" that society continually bombards you with. You are thoughtful about your life choices and think in terms of yourself, others and the world in which we live. You have a great sense that we are part of something much bigger and we must be good to others, if we want others and the world to be good to us.

Amusement

Thoughtful
You are easily stressed out and overwhelmed - you need to take care of yourself first and foremost. Because you tend to be self reflective, you know your limits quite well and must remember to not exceed those limits. When you overwhelm your life with obligations and responsibilities, you tend to shut down and go into yourself even further. Take some time to find your serenity and kick back your feet.

Passion

Physical
You are a cuddle bug - from a warm hug shared with your best friend to steamy sex with your partner, you enjoy every bit of human contact that you can get. You demonstrate your love for others most fluidly through physical one-on-one contact and you feel the most loved when you are being touched. You feel disconnected when you are physically isolated from others. You're a people person and a lover of all things human."

SO ACCURATE! AMAZING! I have never encounter such accurate stuffs for 3 times in a sort! GOSH, this is amazing. It worths a try. It's free anyway! :D

Da ma's shift today. We had rather nice time together. Seems like she is in a good mood today. Was not very busy today as compared to yesterday. But, I do feel as tired as yesterday. Maybe even more tired.I predict Sunday will be more tiring. It will then be the most tiring day of my life in manna.

Today's driving lesson was alright. My instructor took me out of the circuit. I drove on the main road. I felt rather anxious. However, I'm proud to be out there. Singaporean drivers are really getting more and more impatient.

They honked me for no reason. Please I'm still a learner with the L plate sign on my car. What do they expect? Didn't they go through this as well? Furthermore, it's red light and I stopped at the traffic light. What's wrong with that?

The honk really make me panic at that moment. I thought what has gone wrong. Rather what have I done wrong. My instructor said nothing, thus I should have done nothing wrong. When I panic, I just release the either the accelerator or the clutch suddenly causing engine to stall. So got to restart.

Nothing much after that. I'm praised... I can handle the car well. Steering no problem. Changing gear was fine as well. I'm just to anxious. LOL! Now, I'm on;y worried for my FTT. It seems to be quite hard to pass.

Oh.. I almost forget this shuai shuai guy who came to manna today. He is a regular but only today I notice him. Looks like a Taiwanese, like kinda mixed blood type. XIAO SHUAI GEEE!!!

And thanks to Mandy, she make me so embarrassed in front of him. When he asked for servert, Mandy asked me to passed it to him in a super obvious way. And he was looking. OMG!!! Thanks ar Mandy... :)

Today's life in manna was alright. Lao ma's shift. Time passed faster as expected cause crowd in at 630pm. Not really busy, but manageable. We as in Lao ma, Weili and myself entertained each other.

Today, Lao ma was slammed with making Ice Mocha, Ice Latte, Hot Chocolate, bill settlement for UOB credit card (10% discount), soup etc. She will have a nightmare tonight. She even heard that me saying Ice Mocha wrongly. I'm saying to weili this: "Kate, did all the bar closing than what am I supposed to do?" haha!! No link at all...

Tomorrow, will be another tiring day for me. Driving lesson at 10am, classes end at 5pm, working from 6pm-10pm. Wonder if it will be busy tomorrow. Manageable crowds will do please.

Next week schedule will be lesser. I requested for 3 working days. Mon, Fri and Sun. Seems like I have no mood in working. But, I will continue staying in manna cause I don't wish to quit. :D Devoted ok! haha..

Went for shoulder massage and facial at Bioskin yesterday. WOW...! Excellent. The message was fantastic. Maybe I'm too tired. Whole shoulder feel so tight. During the massage, I'm like floating into my own wonderland. Their service is impressing as well.

Thanks to papa! Say such a funny joke that makes me smiling to myself on the platform and in the MRT! The joke is: 999 in malay is a hokkien vulgurity. "SI MI LAN,SI MI LAN,SI MI LAN" Listen to the announcement and you will know what I mean. KUKU PAPA makes me look so idiotic!!!

Alright, shall stop here for today. Too tired, gonna sleep.. *....... zzzzZZZ .......*

I realise that people around me have changed. There is a saying "woman is 善变" But for me, I think man is the most 善变 creature. They are scarier and worst than any woman.

In my class, there are this group of guys, 5 of them. Always sticking together claiming that they have bond and don't wish to be separated. This is kinda selfish, they are strong in Programming. Shouldn't they be splited up into different group so that every group in the class consist of weaks and strongs?

Anyway, this is over. Groups are formed in the first and second week. Also, there is this particular guy in my class. He's active and brilliant. He says think too straight-forwardly that people feel offended sometimes. But he meant no harm.

I think he is a nice guy. Always busy and talk craps. But he can turn craps into reasons. Admire him. But some people just.. I don't know how to say. Just feel they are bias against him. They tends to shoot him directly. Especially the 5 musketeers.

The class is no longer like a class anymore. In semester 1, everyone is together. the most 2 groups. But majority of the class will stick together whenever we go. Like having lunch, slack during our breaks, book a room, book the media room. Now? Split into so many small groups.

We used to have the system of meeting up at the YCK MRT in the morning and walk to class together, late will also late together. Now? No more, one by one, latecomers stroll into class. It used to be one big group. Quite upset about it.

Everyone is thinking for themselves only. What they have in mind is get a high GPA. Yes, GPA is important but isn't friendship important as well? What will we become if we are without friends? Lonely isn't it?

I used to think our class has kinda bonding and I'm blessed to have such wonderful classmates. I'm wrong. It USED to be but not now. Of course, there are some of them who are really wonderful, as helpful as ever. They will help without any complains. Thanks! :D

Today for some reason, I dropped by at the PUB at aliwal ( beach road ) for the first time. I thought it was ok, just another place like a disco environment as shown on television. But no, I was wrong. The atmosphere was terrible. This natural feeling came that makes me feels uneasy there.

I imagined if I visit there oftenly, what will I be like. Smoking? Hosting? Drinking? What will become of me? There was some kind of fear in me. I held on to Weili tightly. She seems to be so natural. My hands are freezing then.

It's noisy and I can't really hear the other party speaking. The place was dim and stuffy. It's not like some other high class pubs. I have no idea how to describe it. But I know I will not want to be there again.

After that, we went out to bugis street to walk around. WOW! The feeling is more relaxed now. Doing everything with a peace in my heart. Feel so good! No fear, no nothing. Comfortable... It is so funny. It seems to be like a KBox kinda place. But why I don't feel the same way when I'm at KBox? Weird...

There is also a pool table. The pub is also similar to the place to play pool. I enjoy being there but not at the pub. Is it because it is a pub? Wonder...




This is a nice show, the instrumental is super nice too. I LOVE IT!!!

Hi peeps.. Please do view this MV song composed by Hebe. This is really a very nice song. The MV is very saddening.





Lyrics:

下着雨让尘气稀释回忆
我靠着你不出声音
看着你看着斑驳的甜蜜
爱你困住你也困住我自己
我那躲也躲不掉的微妙伤口
隐隐作痛
你那戒也戒不掉的甜蜜借口
也让我精神腐朽
说你爱我变成一种问候
不如趁早放手
把爱坠落让满地鲜红
说你爱我变成一种折磨
不用陪我走到最后
我承担不起你的承诺
说你爱我变成一种问候
不如趁早放手
把爱坠落让满地鲜红
说你爱我变成一种折磨
不用陪我走到最后
我承担不起你的承诺
说你爱我变成一种问候
不如趁早放手
把爱坠落让满地鲜红
说你爱我变成一种折磨
不用陪我走到最后
我承担不起你的承诺

You can see how funerable a relationship is. This guy may treat you nice now, who knows what will happen? He might leave you no matter how pretty you are.

OMG! 10% fly away just like that. I forgot there is a quiz today. Software engineering. EEKKK... Gotta strive better next time. First time in my life I heard that the tutor says this "now is 1230pm, you can sleep if you have completed." haha

I heard this from a friend of mine today: " Those who wants to love but don't dare to love is a slut" It's kind of true actually. Thus, I am wondering am I one? A slut? Perhaps. Perhaps not. But the truth is that I don't want to admit neither wish to admit.

I am quite surprised that I do have classmates who viewed my blog. I'm very touched actually. Thanks. Appreciated it.

Can anyone tell me how to pass my time more meaningfully? Everything seems to be unchanged with or without me around. Everyone seems to have a destination and aim. They are all busy unlike me.

There is this one person who seems to be giving a cold shoulder now. I think I might have done something wrong. Or maybe I'm just too sensitive. I would like to know what has happened. I don't wish this to continue. The feeling is really bad.

It's making me terrible as well. Don't know what to do to make everyone happy. There are also some people who are feeling emo due to some reasons like close friend leaving etc. I can't really change the fact of what has happened cause I'm a human.

I cannot really cheer them up cause I myself is not feeling any better than them. But I will be glad if they come and tell me their problems or worries. I will be there to be their listening ear always. If they trust me of course. Else, I hope that they can cheer up after some time.

Even at home, I have not spoke to my dad for more than 10 sentences a week. He's busy with his work. When I reached home, he is asleep. I'm at home, he out to work. Weekends? Parents and sis will be out together. Me? Working.

Even if I'm not working on that particular weekend, they seems to be busy with their stuffs. Though it has been like this always recently, I feel so lonely. Only my baby will be there with me. Sometimes, I don't even have time for him.

Who knows my loneliness beneath my heart? It cannot be explained in words. There are many more things that makes me feel so unworthy to be here sometimes. I just hope I could get myself occupied. Shopping? Alone is never fun. Friends? All are busy. Swimming? How long can I swim per day 3 Hours, 5 Hours?

I have no idea who is trustworthy who is not. People are so scary.. They can be nice to you in front, who knows what happens behind you? Why can humans be loving towards one another?

At the end of the day, there is only one word to describe it. SUCKY!! I'm getting sick and tired of my job already. I wonder what happen. Getting so bored of what I'm supposed to do.

Clear dishes, take order, serve customers, bring those clean dishes and cuteries out of kitchen, sweep floor, mop floor, do bar closing. It's fun in the beginning but now, working for the seek of working. No life..

The moment I start work I simply wish to end it. Time passed super slowly. It's so hard to pass time. It wasn't like that in the past. Lao ma will give me schedule if I request. But I feel so tired. I should be changing environment soon but for no reason that I just don't wish to leave manna.

I just want to do something I like. But I don't know where and how to start. Swimming, can't simply swim everyday. Can I get a job related to swimming? Life-guard? Can consider... But I need to get a cert.

Everything don't seems to be smooth for me. My life is so boring! Even if I die tomorrow, there won't be any regrets. Cause every tomorrow is just the same as every yesterday. I want to try something new! But what?

Next sat, going Sentosa with Weili. After that we will be meeting SSG(Siao Siao Gang) for dinner. It has been quite a while since we met up. Everyone is so busy. Especially Weili and I. Ah... I can find a job in sentosa?! A place of sunshine!!!

School is so boring as well! Monday to Wednesday 9am lesson! I hate it. Waking up early in the morning to attend that morining lesson than LONG break in between. The day than ends super late, except for Wednesday.

Why don't they cut down on our break time and let us end early? What are we suppose to do during the breaks? We won't be studying anyway. Waste time rotting around.

Oh no.. weeks passed means gotta do CODING for I.T project. Killer project. My mood is already so bad, CODING will make it worst. Kill me please!!

I'm really super disappointed today! What has become of the 38th Girls' Brigade!? Fancy has no respect for anyone even the Seniors, Junior Officers and Officers. What makes it worst is that, THEIR drill test is next week. Yet WE are the ones who got worried for them! Not THEMSELVES!

Please this is their test, their ranks, their CCA points. Why should we be the one who are more worried than them? It's none of our business at all. Standards and basic posture is not there at all. Not more than 5 can pass the test next week. I'm not being evil, but stating the facts.

Futhermore, the seniors themselves do not have respect for Junior Officers and Officers, what makes the junior any better? Parade is parade. There must be kinda respect enforced. This is a Uniform Group not any other nonsense. Even non-uniform group should respect be enforced.

It's hard to handle those kids nowsaday. I still remember my days as a GB girl in secondary. We are always running up and down. Instead of strolling like them. We have a sense of urgency unlike them take things so easy.

When anyone count down (10, 9, 8, 7,6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1) we ran like mad! they can still joke and laugh. I wonder what is the joke lies in between. Please.. I don't demand much from them. Just a simple having a sense of urgency and respect will do. Nothing much.

Without a rank in an uniform group means nothing at all. You might as well not join. Strive to get the highest rank as possible. We will definitely benefit from it. I have experienced it before. Don't live with regrets.

My mood is sucks today. Simply nothing makes me jump with joy at all. Kept feeling cold at work. Now I know why, running a fever. Damn! Can't possibly be so unlucky. My day is worst than ever.

Even a stupid Cockroach wants to bully me today. For no reason be in my locker beside my bag for what. What makes me frustrated is yoong hui never catch it, let it escaped! Sicked!!

Lao Ma bought Mushroom key chain for me and Weili. YEAHHHH!! CUTE... I love mushroom arh... :D CHOU Weili snatched my pink color.. End up getting yellow mushroom! TAO YAN NI!!!




My mushroom...




Our Mushroom...


I wonder why she bought it for us. Must be we are too cute that's why she cannot resist not buying for us :DDD yup.. This mushroom key chain is what I have always wanted. Now, I own one. Thanks Lao Ma..

Anyway.. After a period of 3 days of not working. Today's afternoon was kinda relax. Night is horribly busy.. Da Ma shift is always so tiring :X Haha.. Time passed faster anyway.

Today I ate a lot.. So SINFUL!(+.+) Breakfast: 2 slice of bread, 2 slice of "Huat Gui" and 2 cups of nutri-tea. Lunch: Teriyaki Chicken with fries and coleslaw. After which, at 930pm I ate BROWNIE with SWEET-CORN Ice-cream!! woooOOO!!! ICE-CREAM...! NICE NICE :DDDDDDDDDD

Anutie Chew say I'm Wen Zhong. Actually I don't quite really get the meaning if it. Sorry... Chinese Idiot is what I am. But it should be nothing bad, cause I'm good though not perfect :)

Yes, Hui Wen came to look for me today. To get things from me of course. Then, during my break we went for a short shopping together. Bought the same dress, Hers is white while mine is black. Black and White Angels..

Anyway, yesterday went to guitar to be a live music stand for siti and xin zhi. Haha.. One and only okay...! They are some privileged ones. I did not practise guitar for so long already. I have the urge to learn my favourite piece. Canon In D. But don't think I can make it.

There are also a few piece I would like to learn. Reason and Romance DE Amor. They are so nice! I'm simply in loved with them. Argh... I love listening, but playing them is "damn"! Cannot make it. Anyone will be my teacher? ah.. I'm slow, don't vomit blood.. LOL :X

Su.. was sicked. Went home early. I walked her to the bus stop as it's kinda late too. I hope she is better now. If you think I'm so wei da, nope I'm not. I just hope that I can care for everyone around me. I just do what I can for them.

Needless to say, there are some people whom I will want to protect. Some are super obvious. If you happen to know me for quite sometime and cannot see who are these people... See the tall hard thing beside you? Yup.. Run towards it and BANG it! LOL kidding!

For those who are not obvious at all, don't ask me who they are. Cause I only want to keep it in my heart. If you think you know, *shhh...* secret! 不能说的秘密...! I don't demand anything back from anyone. I will be happy and contented to see them happy, safe and healthy.

Sometimes, I keep things to myself and lied (white lie, no harm :D) that I'm ok. I'm sorry, I just don't wish my troubles to be of any burden to anyone. I really don't mean it. Forgive me for being selfish in anyway. *SORRY* I feel worst than anyone one.

Congrats to me... My contact lens is expiring soon. I have got to change it. It's making my eyes itchy. I wonder why am I so sensitive. Even towards some tiny minor things. Weak... Every bad things I have a portion to it. But there is nothing good for me. so Shitty!

Lao ma says she wanna throw me and Weili into kitchen sooner or later. And I also heard that I will be thrown to learn kitchen next week. I'm ok to learn new things. But I don't wanna wash dishes :'( My skin is sensitive to those detergent!

But to say, kitchen is quite fun especially preparing food.. though it's oily. Don't have to face those PMS customers. Nanny nanny pool pool :) ! Yup.. Hope manna will be a pleasant place for me as time passed....

This is one of the song I'm addicted to recently. 天灰... Though this is counted as a old S.H.E song but it's meaningful. A nice song will always be nice no matter how old it is.

This is the lyrics, read it and you will find how meaningful it is:

如果你不再出现 我的世界 还有什麽可贵

可惜不够时间 让我们试验 什麽叫永远

想念变成怀念 心动变成心碎 偏偏还会关切

你最後属於谁 我的天空今天有点灰 我的心是个落叶的季节

我不知道如何度过今夜 所有的灯 早已经全都熄灭


如果你从没出现 我会不会 觉得快乐一些

可惜残忍时间 总要把诺言 一点点摧毁想念变成怀念

心动变成心碎 偏偏还会关切 你最後属於谁

我的天空今天有点灰 我的心是个落叶的季节 我不知道如何

度过今夜

所有的灯 早已经全都熄灭 我的天空今天有点灰 我的心是

个落叶的季节

我不知道如何度过今夜 所有的灯 早已经全都熄灭


To me, this song reflects a lot about/to me. I don't know how to explain it in words but it just a feeling inside me.

The MV of this song is also rather saddening. My IPOD seems t have only one song. Repeat it over and over again. Of course there are also other nice songs by them. Let me see... I shall intro some of their song I love!

There it is...

1. Super model

2. Ring Ring Ring

3. BOOM

4. 别说对不起

5. 冰箱

6. 好心情Just be yourself

7. 我爱你

8. 别(Ella)

9. 老婆

10. 爱我的资格

11. 记得要忘记

12. 五月天

13. 不做你的朋友

14. 替我爱你(Hebe)

15. 不想长大

16. 说你爱我

17. 我们怎么了

18. 候鸟

19. 爱呢

20. 他还是不懂

21. 绿洲

22. 触电

23. 恋人未满


Actually almost every song of theirs is nice. But these are some highly recommanded by me! :D

I have got nothing better to blog. So to keep my blog alive, I just post whatever nonsense. Today intro S.H.E songs. Next what can I post? I never know blogging is such a headache.

The actual reason why I have got nothing to post is due to confusion. I don't know what can be said and what should I say. I have got to think of consequences and how should I handle them. I cannot be so childish thinking about that very moment only.

Things has changed. I have grown up. Whatever I do, say or even act. It will involve a third party. So.. It's better to think before I do anything. I don't wish to cause trouble to anyone.

Yup.. I watched finish the Korean show, Qu Tian De Tong Hua. Korean Romance is ok, though their ending is rather predictable. The male or female lead will die of the same disease, Cancer. In the end, the lead of the show will die.

It's rather sad. Why are the Koreans so negative? They tried so hard to be together then in the end, they cannot be together forever. Taiwan romance is always happy ending while Korean romance is always sad ending.

There goes the story. En Xi and Jun Xi are siblings and comes from a rich family. They are really very close. One day, they realise that En Xi and Xin Ai (En Xi's rival) was mistaken by the hospital.

In the end, En Xi was forced to return to her "real" home by Xin Ai. In the other words they exchanged homes. The story goes on. Till they became adults. And so on... En Xi got to know this guy, Shang Ming, Jun Xi's buddy.

This goes on and on. Shang Ming got in love with En Xi and did a lot of things for her. But En Xi only has Jun Xi. Jun Xi and En Xi are deeply in love. LOL.. I'm too lazy to relate the whole story. But anyway, in the end. En Xi got leukemia and died eventually.

But what puzzled me was the last part. Jun Xi got into an accident and the show just ended. Question, did he die? Hmm... From this show, I realise many things. How hard you try or even how much you have done for someone. You might not get the result you wanted. You will get more hurt than you expected.

It comes and goes so naturally that one cannot control, just like Love. Being able to stay healthy is also one wonderful thing. Need not worry about the pain you will be going through or even worry if you can see the tomorrow's sun.

People often take things for granted. Often regret for not treasuring after losing it. Why do we choose to live in regret? Why not treasure it in the first place? Human nature. Cause we are humans.

All Right, let's changed another topic. Today, I went swimming with my sister. My timing did improve by 10sec. Nothing to be proud of. Got to be better. After which we went shopping. 2 consecutive days of shopping for me!

Yesterday went to shop with Weili. I sorted my thinking and realise that I have not been pampering myself all these while. I bought many many stuffs to pamper myself. Things I bought from these 2 shopping trips:

1) Sun-glass
2) 3 tops
3) 2 skirts
4) 1 tights
5) Contact Lens
6) 2 pairs of shoe/heels
7) spray bottle

Seems like, I spent a lot on so little stuffs. Anyway things should be getting better for me now. I hope. I don't know when I will leave this place. Also, I rather.. Rather spent on things that makes me happy. I won't want to spent money on medication. If I fall ill, I will wait to die.

Everyone felt weird in this sudden changed in me. No worry pals... I'm perfectly normal. I'm fine as well. Nothing happened to me. I just feel I need a change to live better. I can ensure that I'll stay strong no matter what. This is a promise. :D

A promise is a promise. Whatever I promised, I will do it. Cause I hate people to not keep their promise too. But if I just don't feel like joking around with you guys, not to worry. I'm just tired. Don't say I'm emo. I'm already drained now. There are things that has it boundaries. Sorry to make anyone worried.

How I wish, I could just have a holiday trip now. Anywhere is fine too. I believe time is the best healing medicine for anyone. To those who are in a mess, sad, angry, hurt, heart-broken or whatever, Time... Just give yourself time to sort out. All things will be better after all.

Finally.. I have completed the 2 days Kayaking course! First day, was all right. I just feel so bored as others seems to have company. After all, probably I'm not in a good mood? Better to stay alone.

I feel manier now. I helped everyone to carry their kayak whereas other girls are like standing there thinking guys can do it. Although there was only 3 guys in my group. For me? I helped everyone and end up the instuctor has got to help me to carry my kayak.

When we are doing the resue practical, everyone was like so afraid of being the capsizee. As the water is deep, dirty and salty. So I volunteer myself. First to be capsized, and last to launch out. I felt good as I helped others. :D

Next, being the capsizee I'm supposed to wait for my team-mates to resue me. In the end I have got to help myself. Rather resue myself more than they resue me. The most irony thing is that, I have got to grab hold and "save" my own kayak. The kayak drifted away.

They are so afraid of being capsized that they did not grab my kayak and hold it tight. And there I am swam to "catch" my kayak, encouraging them and assuring them that they won't capsize. I understand their fear. So I did not blame them. They did a good job after all.

People kept saying I'm emo. Question is that do I really look emo? Why is everyone saying the same thing? Yes, I seems to have spoke lesser than before. And I put everyone be it close friend or just normal friends first rather than myself.

This is a big change in me. I became manier? I took care of people around me more than before. They don't want to do it, ok I do. That's great isn't it? No unhappiness.

I feel aching everywhere. I enjoyed so I don't mind. But, what make me worst is my weak immue system and sensitive skin. Getting itcy after being in dirty water. Getting sick maybe too tired? Head is spliting!!! Throat is buring!!

Oh please, if I have become so weak that I fall sick so easily, please God... Take me away! Suffering from these is never fun! I want to enjoy and stay strong to enjoy.

Oh cool, I'm so afraid of having gastric again! So I have learnt to be good. Will eat at least one meal a day. I have gave up dieting! No more diet for me. Anyway, even if I'm slim or fat it makes no different. No one wants means no one wants.. LOL kidding!

So let me relate about my first driving lesson. I look forward to it. The instructor is ok, explain many thing to me in details. Driving was not as easy as I thought it was.

My poor instructor will puke after being in the car with me for like 1 and a half hours. I'm either stepping too hard on the accelerator or too soft. Haha engine stall for like twice. Brake too, step on it to fast causing a sudden stop. It's ok. First timer!

Being on the road is rather stress. You got to keep a look out for so many things. I'm beginning to get worried for my driving test. Hope everything goes smoothly.

Next, today's work. Hmmm.... Everything was fine, just that I wonder why Papa, Weili and Sandy say I'm very emo. But I'm not. Maybe I have changed? I wonder what's wrong with me. Talk and smile lesser and lesser each day.

I really appreciate their care and concern for me. I'm so touched when papa ask me what happen, if got any troubles must share. That's when I felt I'm not alone after all. There are still people who worth me to be appreciated.

Yesterday work was super boring and relaxed. Less than 10 tables for the night. 9pm we started mopping and sweeping the floor. Finished doing all closing before 930pm. Sit there doing nothing for almost 30 mins. BORED!!

That's what happens on monday. Monday blueeees... Yup. Yesterday was E-learning lab ( supposingly that's what we thought) so I reached school at 930am for tutorial (late for 1/2 hour) :X and went home at 1030am. Today my class mate told me, there is lab and attandence was taken. DAMN...

That sudden urge of me to rush home to clean up my room keeps me busy till 4pm. Packed and clean up my whole room! I love my room even more! Neater and cleaner than ever!!! After that went to work. Reach manna at 559pm UHOO...! Almost late..

Neater and cleaner room makes me feel like rushing home everyday now. Just don't have the feel to stay out late anymore. Room really affects our mood. Before I pack it: books, dust, nonsense stuffs, rough paper etc are all packed inside my room. Now.. DUMP!! All disappear.. That feeling is great!

I finshed the week's tutorials on Sunday. So I do not have to worry about not being able to complete my tutorials anymore. Teacher wants to check? Come on.. No fear! I have done it already haha!! Proud of myself actually...

Received a Sms from the instructor yesterday asking me if I would like to start my lesson tomorrow. So offically tomorrow will be the start of my first driving lesson. UBI driving centre. Where the hell is it? Located at UBI is the only thing I know. Why am I learning there instaed of the BB driving which is so freaking near to my house?

Reason is I'm taking my cousin's instructor. So I have got to travel that super long distance to a deserted area which I don't even know. It's ok.. Take it as I can learn new routes. Benefits me when I drive in time to come. :D

Today, I actually arrived in the lecture hall before the lecture offically started. First time to be on time since the semester started! COOL.... And I survived till the end of lecture. Did not fell asleep for a single min. Listen attentively, make notes. Heeee.... Praise me please, someone!

Night lecture on thursday was bought forward to today. I'm giving it a miss. Reason is from 9am lesson till 730pm and there is only 1 hour break. Freaking tired I'm ok with it. But what make thing worst is that the lecturer is boring. Waste of time listening to him crapping unrelated stuffs from the module.

Business communication 3 tutor is extremely "hip". The way she dress, the way she speaks is real "hip". The first impression she gave me was "Gosh, we are really gonna have a hard time with this tutor". In the end she is not that bad as I thought.

She teaches us the correct way of pronouncing words. There are many 'WOW' things that I can learn from her. Perfect English! Quite a good tutor I can say. Just that her expectation is also quite high.

I admire her confidence in speaking and in challenging us. She challenged us to bombard her with any words that we think she can't pronounce. She managed to pronounce all. Perfect!! Anyway, I just hope she will be nice till the end of the semester.

Weili went to guitar with me today, thank for her company and I'm entertained. Haha!! She's quite pro in scolding people. GOSH!! She has comments for those whom she just met for only ONCE. And the comments is like super duper long... ADMIRE.... !! :D

Anyway, I went swimming once again today. It has been a long time I have not been to OCC for a swim since school starts. Nice feeling to be back into the pool swimming. No blazing sun, the water is cold. But after finishing a few laps, there is no feeling of cold anymore.

Well, after all these past few days, I seems to be racing with time. Time seems to be insufficient for me. Had not enough sleep, no more play time with my son. Miss home cook food as well. The reason is, no dinner for me. Lunch is eaten out, breakfast is either bread or bun. NO home cook food!!!

Yup. My net was down so I have no connection to update my blog. There seems to be a lot in my mind on what to post here. But my mind is blank now. Rather moody recently. I'm so busy. Yup people might say I bought it upon myself.

Keeping myself busy is a way to spend time, what else should I do during my free time? I'm not like some others who have a boyfriend to spend time with or whatever.. So I gotta find my own entertainment. :D

My swimming speed is making me more demoralised than ever. I have got to hit a male's timing. This is a way to train my own speed. But who can I approach? I feel like I have many friends around me. But when it comes to time that I need someone. I feel like actually, I have not much friends around me.

"You seems to have lost your cheerfullness, I can't see that smile on your face anymore." Someone said this to me. When I think back, indeed. I have lost all these. I appear to have lesser smiles on my face as time passes.

"The one who appear the most cheerful is not the one who is really cheerful!" I agree with this 99.9% They may appear cheerful but deep in their heart. They are the one who are feeling terrible. Problems, stress...? No one knows.

My body seems to be weaker and weaker already. I used to be quite strong. Now, immune system and my body is "hoosh!" Feel like I'm going to be dead. Gastric come and go. I had this horrible pain one night. Wish I could be dead at that moment.